I hate a lot of people. Here’s a quick list:
- People who walk onto elevators without waiting to see if someone is getting off
- Joe Buck
- People who snore
- Brian Cashman
- Self promoters
- The person who caused the car accident that I was in
- Anyone who doesn’t like pickles
- People who take Dodgeball way too seriously
- Looters
- Dave Matthews and anyone else who names a band after themselves
- Ugly guys with hot girlfriends
- Anyone who wears sunglasses indoors
- Anyone who has named their kid after an inanimate object or piece of fruit
- Siri
- The person who stole my vortex football when I was in the 6th grade
- People who don’t pick up after their dog
- People who stand in the middle of a hallway blocking traffic
- People who walk slowly
- People who don’t say hello to you
- The person who thought it was a good idea to send hand written thank you cards
- Anyone whose last name is Kardashian
- Michael Jordan
- Anyone who is racist
- Close talkers
- Anyone who owns more than one cat
- Touchy feely people
- Anyone who corrects someone else’s grammar
- Anyone who cuts in line
- Guys who blatantly check out girls
- People on the train who try to watch a video or read something that someone else is viewing
- Telemarketers
- People who look to see who is walking behind them
- People who talk with their hands excessively
- People who roll through stop signs
- Anyone who partakes in public displays of affection
- People who use baby talk to talk to babies
- Anyone who talks during a movie
- Anyone who works in food service who questions what I’ve ordered
- People who sit on the same side of a booth in a diner
- People who tap their foot while listening to music
- People who make corny jokes
- Religious zealots
- People who hand out flyers
- Polluters
- Red Sox fans
- People who brush their teeth at work
- People who do their makeup on the train
- People who use their phones in the bathroom
- Girls on dating sites that take more than 24 hours to respond to emails
- People who take credit for other people’s work
- Ass kissers
- People who fall asleep in public
- People who eat food in the super market before they’ve paid for it
- People who take a picture of themselves in a mirror for dating sites
- Hecklers
- Know it alls
- Politicians
- People who don’t smile in pictures
- People who text while walking
- People who refer to themselves in the third person
- People who posts picture of their cat/dog on Facebook
- People who pay with exact change
- Meat heads
- People who go clubbing
- Anyone who owns their own bowling ball
- People who don’t hold the door open for you
- Joe Buck again
- People who talk trash about fantasy sports
- Girls that say to you that they’re not looking to date anyone right now and then start dating someone else
- Other people named Craig
- Bullies
- Male librarians
- Anyone who wears jorts
- Hackers
- Anyone who looks at me on the subway
- Anyone who is wearing the same shirt as me
- The makers of Slice Orange Soda
- Whoever it is at the laundry mat who keeps misplacing one of my socks
- The TV executive who canceled Firefly, Jericho, and Terra Nova before their time was up
- Sarah Silverman
- People who say “um” while talking
- People who say “like” while talking
- People who say “you know what I’m saying” while talking
- People who under dress in cold weather
- The Shamwow guy
- Screaming babies
- Hockey fans
- Anyone who went to Boston College
But there is nobody that I hate more than the guy who lives above me who plays music all day every day if you could even call the sounds that he makes music. It more closely resembles a cat in heat dry heaving. Living underneath that incessant noise is literally driving me crazy. I feel like a prisoner in my own home.
Unfortunately, I don’t have much recourse other than to assassinate him or move out neither of which are feasible right now. But what if there was a solution out there? What if there was a local place that he could go to where he could play any musical instrument any time that he wants to his heart’s content?
Currently, no such place exists. That’s why so many aspiring musicians take to their parent’s garages to practice. What we need is a public place, open 24/7, that will enable someone to play music whenever they want. And not just musicians either. A place where anyone, from guitar heroes to teenagers celebrating a friend’s birthday, can go to rock out, no prior experience necessary.
I’m envisioning a facility with multiple flexible rooms that can change size and shape depending on the needs of the group in attendance. A place where in one room a group of people could be having a karaoke birthday party while in another room a rock band practices prior to the start of their tour. A place containing different themed rooms so that a kid who has never been exposed to music before can rock out on a drum set, a guitar, and a turn table to find out what instrument bests suits him. A place that could even include a main stage area to host open mic nights or mini concerts. Anything musical that someone wants to do would be fair game.
For the record I don’t even like music. I don’t own a single CD. I’ve only been to one concert in my life. Chances are if I like a song I won’t know who sings it. And yet even I can appreciate the need for such a public music space. It just seems weird that there are public places dedicated to the likes of playing sports and watching movies but nothing for playing music. It’s time that changed. My sanity depends on it.
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